I never know where I am going to get inspiration to write from, but when it arrives, I have to go for it.
I was getting my makeup done for a photo shoot and I was speaking to the makeup artist about what I do, my upcoming book, weight loss. I answered the usual questions that come up such as “how long did the book take you to write” and “what do you think about Keto”.
I asked the artist about her current fitness regime and her eating plan, we ended up talking about the current Body Acceptance movement and how it is so tricky for women.
We are told we need to accept our bodies how they are, to love ourselves and to embrace our flaws. What if we know we need to clean up our diets, be honest about when we aren’t hungry and be our healthiest selves? Is that not being loyal to our own needs? Is this anti-feminist? Why is it so complicated to want to be comfortable in our own skin? When is health a consideration? What are we to do?
We all have our own genetic code, no matter how much we want something to be different, somethings are forever. For example, I will always have Green eyes which, I like. However, I have broad shoulders (Thanks Dad!) at least for the rest my frame. It can be a pain when it comes to things like wrap dresses, one piece bathing suits and bandeau tops. I spent decades hating them.
When I was trying on wedding dresses, I as told repeatedly how un-proportioned I was to the rest of my body, but that so was INSERT FAMOUS WOMAN was as well. However, this might be a problem for me since, I was well not famous.
Shoulder pads were never a good look for me, and even though sure a lot of famous, well known women also have broader shoulders for their frame, I somehow envisioned mine as being a huge negative.
I went so far once to ask a trainer at the gym, how I could shrink them. He chuckled and said, “Well, they are bones”. That was when it all came together for me, I can’t do anything about my bones, I can impact how much extra weight is on those bones, how much muscle is or is not over the bones to make them appear sleeker or bigger depending on my diet and exercise.
The more time I have spent focusing on things I like about my body, such as my hair which has some great days or my eyes which are green and highly unusual, the less my god awful shoulders bothered me.
After a workout where I have really connected with my body, I sure am not going to think negatively of it, we just accomplished a lot together! When I focused on my feelings versus where I could get more sugar, I didn’t notice my not perfect body as often.
A moment spent looking down at my sick child sleeping on my chest, made me realize how I might have these shoulders on purpose.
I have accepted I have the shoulders I have. I will never have a small waif upper body, and that is fine. I still eat right, get plenty of sleep, drink tons of water and treat my body as healthily as I know how because I love my body, wide shoulders and all.
This is what Body Acceptance is supposed to be. Not dwelling or obsessing on what we can’t change, loving ourselves enough to be the healthiest version of ourselves we can be and so what if I am never going to be asked to be a fit model for clothes? I can still love and accept the skin I am in.