I am about to hit a 2 year anniversary of a significant day in my life. A day when I can pinpoint was one of the worst of my adult life.
There is something rather profound when we point to a calendar and know that was THE day. THE day that sucked the worst of the sucky days preceding and following.
I have had bad days before, I have had challenging days never had I had a day like the one I had in April of 2016. This was a watershed moment. A before and an after.
So what happened? I am not being vague out of any reason other to keep the other participants privacy.
If it was just about me, I would write about it. You should all know that about me by now.
When it really hits the fan, truly hits I have learned a few things
1. I was stronger than I thought I was. Sure, I had completed endurance athletic events and at one time could deadlift an ungodly amount of weight for my size during my CrossFit phase, but I am emotionally strong. I had never given much thought to it before. Once I was thrown into the River of Suck, I learned I could swim in it. it wasn’t my idea of a fun time, but my head was above water just the same.
2. It was a great litmus test for relationships. When things are really bad, often those are closest to us can’t/won’t/refuse to get it, which is a double hit. They might say stupid cliches or try to one up you with something unrelated or downright insignificant. Now is not the time to address that relationship. While others I barely knew will showed up and say “how can I help?”
3. I changed. For me it was a wake up call. I wasn’t really happy with how my life was going, the decisions I was making and my daily life. Since then, just about everything has changed. I have started a business, written a book, taken up Surfing. I have stopped shopping when I was bored and eating Sugar when I was awake. I have started traveling more, being a more present Mother and have been able to help others to swim in their own Rivers of Suck. Not all change is bad.
We always think we are the only one or that everyone is looking or judging us. Neither is the case. Everyone is going through something, whether they will acknowledge it to themselves or at the neighborhood block party is another matter.
Most people are too preoccupied with their own swim to notice or judge ours.
When I got past the point where getting from drop off to the school parking lot without crying was a victory, I knew I had to learn from this. I had to find the lesson, the takeaway, the message or else what was the point? I would have gone through so much to go buy more shoes and eat more Sugar? Nope, that wasn’t it.
At the risk of reading like a Yoga poster, this all happened because it was supposed to. I was supposed to learn from it, I was supposed to write a book and you were supposed to read this post.
“You should never view your challenges as a disadvantage. Instead, it’s important for you to understand that your experience facing and overcoming adversity is actually one of your biggest advantages”