Festivus for the Rest of Us
For those of you too young to remember Seinfeld, or you don’t watch tv. Festivus is a newer
Holiday originate on the classic episode of Jerry Seinfeld’s self-titled sitcom “Seinfeld”. On
the episode “The Strike” George Costanza’s parents celebrate an alternative holiday. The episode
aired in December 1997, and the world has never been the same.
Some details of the holiday, climbing up an aluminum pole, feats of strength, there is a
meatloaf and an “airing of grievances”.
The Airing of Grievances is a time when Frank Costanza said “I got a lotta problems with you
people, and now you’re gonna hear about it.” Then everyone pretty much unloads on each
other. Let the Celebration Begin!!
My list of Grievances
– Whoever leaves the empty container in the cabinet. Yeah you Liam! I know you are too
young for Social Media, but do not think I do not know it isn’t you. Especially when you are
the only one who drinks orange juice.
– People who put their political views on Facebook and then acts angry when people have
differing opinions. These are almost always classmates from high school, so why can’t we
stick to your vacation pictures and how your kid made Varsity Basketball? Why do Steve and
Joe have to go 10 rounds about #metoo when last time I checked Al Franken wasn’t a friend
of either of theirs and whether or not he was any worse than Harvey Weinstein isn’t the key
issue now is it?
– Any sentence that starts with “don’t take this the wrong way” or “ I don’t mean to rude, but”
JUST STOP TALKING. My 12 year old loves to do this. She’s lucky she was a beautiful baby
or else I might sell her to a traveling circus.
– Fake Friends
– Fake Food
– Fake purses
– Waitlisted for an exercise class. Can I come or not? I just need to know before I leave the
– To the man I married 15 years ago who still leaves the seat up in our bathroom. If he does
not knock It off, he can always find another bathroom to use!
– The jerks who don’t walk their grocery store carts back to the cart corral. It’s 10 feet people.
– The Lady at my kids school who I have met 15 times, and she NEVER remembers my name.
I know she isn’t busier than I am, but yet she can not be bothered to know my name. Her kid
has been at my house. Our daughters are friends. Our family has been at the school for 4
years. Enough is Enough lady!
– People who spoil movie plots- yeah you Nathan. I Love you little bro, but don’t text me when
I am walking into Star Wars with a spoiler. NOT COOL
In all seriousness, to get things off of our chest and or letting it go are the only healthy options.
Holding them in a letting them fester will only lead to problems, and disease. Now, I am not
saying you should start calling up everyone who annoyed you this year, but if you must, feel
free to use my list as a framework.