I will be happy when…

There was a time when part of me believed all of life’s issues would solved when the scale read the magic number.

It would be something along the lines of the recent movie Ready Player One where a magic key came from the sky and all of life mysteries would be solved once I weighed THE NUMBER.

Part of me was delaying being fully present in my life because I would not allow myself to be completely happy until I weighed THE NUMBER.

The irrational hungry chronic dieting part of me was convinced that THE NUMBER would make me immune to parking tickets, my kids would behave better on airplanes and my husband wouldn’t be as moody after work.

Life really hit the fan almost two years ago and I reached THE NUMBER through stress. Who knew that was the best diet EVER?

Forget the Cabbage Soup, Atkins, BBs behind the ear diet or the cookie diet. If life was really bad, then I would have THE NUMBER!!!

This time of my life was the catalyst for many things, but one of them was for me realizing my chronic dieting thinking was really screwed up.

There wasn’t any confetti coming down from the sky, nor was anyone congratulating me when I walked out of my bathroom that I weighed THE NUMBER that day.

My life was still in the ditch, but I happen to weigh THE NUMBER. This was my first clue THE NUMBER wasn’t what I had made it up to be. Oh and Santa Claus still wasn’t real. Apologies if you were still on the fence.

The magical thinking we engage in when will let ourselves be happy when fill in the blank… is actually self destructive wrapped in fantasy.

Why don’t be we let ourselves be happy now? Why are we not all in right now?

Some of us have our own version of THE NUMBER only it is how much you earn this year, marital status or buying a house. Whatever you are can finish the sentence of “I will be happy when” is getting in your way now.

Fast forward two years and I am below THE NUMBER without tricks or starvation. I think differently, so I live differently and my relationship with food has been completely overhauled. I have stopped dieting, and started letting myself be happy now.

Crazy right?

What are you waiting for?

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