“Change the way you see things and the things you see will change.” Wayne Dyer
Have you ever noticed how many things go right in a day? or how many go wrong? Are you a glass is half full person or a half empty person? or do you double down and think the water also tastes weird?
Do you believe thoughts set the tone for our day or our day sets the tone for our day?
Mindset can be a confusing topic for many of us. If you aren’t 100% sure what it is or why it matters, no worries, I have got you covered.
Just so we are all on the same page:
Mindset is a belief that orients the way we handle situations — the way we sort out what is going on and what we should do. Our mindsets help us spot opportunities but they can trap us in self-defeating cycles. It is about the beliefs that make a difference in our lives — the beliefs that distinguish people who are successful at what they do versus those who continually struggle.
The Stanford University psychologist Carol Dweck (2006) popularized the idea of by contrasting different beliefs about where our abilities come from. If we have a fixed mindset that our ability is innate then a failure can be unsettling because it makes us doubt how good we are. (Psychology Today)
I envision the old school imaginary devil sitting on our shoulder for the fixed mindset whispering all of our deepest darkest fears of how things could go wrong, and how things never work out for us, and how we are destined to live in a van down by the river anyway.
So why should we even try to get the promotion, go on the solo travel trip, write the book? Everything will fail and we will end up alone watching tv in our Mom’s basement, just like we always feared? So pass the Doritos!
In contrast, if we have a growth mindset then we expect that we can improve our ability — and a failure shows us what we need to work on. People with a fixed mindset are out to prove themselves, and get very defensive when someone suggests they made a mistake — they measure themselves by their failures.
We all know the uber defense people. NOTHING is every their responsibility. Traffic: it isn’t as if they could have left early. Miscommunication: it always just happens to them. Falling out of touch with friends and relatives: WIFI and phone carriers only work in one direction.
They are the definition of defensive and because of it they are doomed to never learn to leave early for the appointment, to be clear when they communicate and to be equal partners in adult relationships. They will not accept responsibility by simply saying “I screwed up, I was wrong”
People with a growth mindset often show perseverance and resilience when they’ve committed errors — they become more motivated to work harder. You can imagine how much this fixed vs growth mindset can affect our lives.
Growth mindset people can own their mistakes, they can point out where they screwed up and highlight how their thinking got them in the situation in the first place. They will be willing to help others work on their own mindset
“Happiness depends on your mindset and attitude.” Roy T. Bennett
I have done a tremendous amount of work on my own mindset over the last couple of years and it is amazing how much success I have found in the way I life changes simply by intentionally thinking positive things.
Small things such as “My perspective is of equal value” when dealing with an authority figure.
Motivational things such as “I will do this” when I am feeling overwhelmed.
Simple things such as “Everything will be ok” when life is hard as hell.
Mindset Month will be fun, and it can change your life.